Just set up our....I don't know what you call it, anyway someone is coming out from the agency for a meeting.  They are coming to our home in a few days.  So excited and nervous!!!!

two-by-two....or three or four or five or six

The system is in need of people to take sibling groups.  Unfortunately the sibling groups have a tendency to be large.  Sometimes very large.  I thought it over and I can handle two more kids.  What's five, right.  J is still undecided.

I know my childhood wasn't as bad as some kids but I do think if I had had enough sense to talk about what was going on we would have been taken away.  I mean really, who thinks it's a good idea to drink and drive every time you drive, especially when you have kids in the car.  There are other things as well but that's not what this post is about.  I had already felt fine about taking on two kids but when my mind traveled back and I thought about what would that have been like, being taken from my parents, and separated from my brother.  The only thing that could have brought me any peace would have been being able to stay with my Bubba..  I would have felt safe with him.  Those thoughts and feelings make me really want to take two in hopes that we would be able to get siblings.  We couldn't take a whole broad but maybe we could take two out of a sibling set......

Preparing for more

Part of the interesting part of fostering is not knowing what you are going to need.  We know we will be taking in kids from birth to 3 years.  The thing with fostering is sometimes you get a kid in the middle of the night.  So how do you prepare for that.....craigslist.  J and I have been looking at things we will need and yesterday he hit the jackpot.  We got a van full of things from one person.

 Sweet Baby Boy was so excited to go get things for the new kids.  He couldn't wait to help J fill the jogging strollers tires with air as soon as we got home.

 We got a crib, with a mattress, a blanket with matching sheet and crib bumper.  That adorable giraffe mobile and a uhhh I don't know what you call the other thing but it's cute and the baby will like it.

 Since we picked it all up while Princess and Little Man were at school J wanted to leave it all out in the living room for them to see when we got home.

 Sweet Baby Boy was excited that this came in the loot.

 We got two strollers.  One is a jogging stroller and the other is just your regular kind.

 We also got two highchairs.  As you can see we have one of the more traditional kind and also one that attaches to your table.  I am super excited about these guys.

A pack n play that has a diaper changing station attachment.  This will be very handy if we get a newborn since we could just set it up in our room.

Let's see what else was there....a potty training chair, plus another that just sits on top of your potty lid so the kiddo doesn't fall in, a small box with some bibs and clothes, a Halloween outfit, life jacket, a baby bath tub, and a bumbo.  We got all of that for 120 bucks!!  That was a steal.

I have spent time this morning going through a loooong list of agencies to choose from.  J suggested I find out how far each one was from us.  Great idea.  I did that and found that they are pretty much the same distance, give or take a few minutes.  So I started making phone calls to ask each agency question.  I hate doing things like that.  Hate it.  I wish I could just turn my shyness off and get things done. 

I think we have found one we like.  Someone will be calling us back in the next few days and we will go from there.  Can't wait for her to call.

Just a bit about us

We are a family of 5.  Our three kids are 8, 7, and almost 5.  Our oldest is a girl, Princess. The 7 year old is Little Man and our last guy is Special Baby Boy.  All of our kids are just incredibly smart.  In fact Princess will be tested for "gifted" classes next month.  J and I have been married for 11 years.  We met when we were both just 14 at our church.  We worked in our church nursery together.  We both just love children.

Phew

We just got home from orientation.  I am so grateful to have had someone to take care of our kiddo's while J and I got started on our first step.  Orientation was........draining.  Most of what they spoke of tonight were things I had already read on-line.  I was anxious to hear new things.  I was not anxious to hear the statics about these children.  12,000 kids are in the system here.  85% of them have been sexually abused.  I listened tonight as they pleaded for people who already had their minds made up to just adopt to reconsider and think about fostering.  I heard these women speak of individual kids who are needing help right now.  Our state is so overrun with kids and there just aren't enough foster families.  Just last night they had a 6 day old little girl who needed to be placed and they have no where to put her.

So what do they do with kids that don't have family to go to?  They first try foster families, then shelters, and when there is still no where to go.....they sleep in the cps offices.  It's heartbreaking but there is something more devastating than that.  Our state is so overrun that there are kids who need to be taken from their homes but they are being left there because there really is no where else to go.

I can't imagine having  the jobs that these ladies have......knowing the stories of these children and not being able to help them.  They must lay in their beds at night with minds full of horror stories and neglect.  Since we have decided to do this I have thought several times how grateful I am that J talked me out of a dream I once had.  Because of my past I wanted t be a social worker.  I wanted to be the one to go in and save the day.  I was naive.  My mind hadn't thought of the heartbreak over the children I couldn't help or the grief I would witness when the children didn't want to be taken from their abusive families.  But my baby knows me and he knew it was something I couldn't handle.  I spent many moments of the night being so grateful for my husband who would hear a static or story and immediately place his arm around my shoulder and give me the support he knew I needed in those moments.

Now all I want to do is get everything finished immediately so we can be there to love the children God places in our home.  It's gonna be a long 6 months.

Here we go

We are about to start on an incredible journey.  Tonight we will go to our orientation class for becoming foster parents.  We are excited. Speaking for myself, excited and overwhelmed and nervous and happy and anxious and excited and excited some more.  It feels a little like being pregnant.  We know our family is about to change but we don't know exactly how.  I find myself at the store strolling down the baby area or thinking in my head of ways to sooth a distressed toddler who doesn't know us.  I haven't bought anything yet, okay well almost nothing.  I found a crib bumper the other day for 2.99, and I loved it, so how can a person say no to three dollars.  The wanting to buy things reminds me of when J and I were pregnant with Princess and he had her baby swing put together and in our living room just waiting for her arrival.......her arrival that wasn't to happen for another eight months.

Once we settled on a yes about fostering I began looking on line for a blog to read.  Something I could relate too.  Something more personal than the foster agency sites that I couldn't tear myself away for during late hours of the night. 

I couldn't find just what I was looking for. 

What I wanted was a blog that started right at the beginning.  To read about the joys and fears of someone else as they went through the process of being certified.  To hear about their anxiety or feelings of inadequacy at taking on something so huge.  I wanted to see how other peoples kids felt about adding new little ones.  I just wanted to read it all.....

So that's just what this blog will be.   Our journey......