Still on the hunt for the perfect crib.......better hurry up.......

Catch Up Time

Where to begin.  We finished class 10 and on Monday night will make up a class we missed while we were on vacation.  Our licensing agent came out and did our couples interview.  We also had someone come out to the house and do our cpr/first aide.  On Monday we had our home inspected by OLCR.  We are in compliance.  Our licensing agent has never had a couple do that on the first attempt.  Go us!  She (A) came out today and did her own inspection.....guess who couldn't find one of the fire extinguishers?  Yup that would be me.  Pretty embarrassing.  Finally found it behind the laundry basket.  Oops.

We are still waiting from someone from another state to send back some paperwork on us.  Guess this is just good preparation for our experiences to come.  I hear CPS isn't always timely. 

A is going to make some more calls and hopefully get it in on Monday at the latest.  She wants to get our things sent off to state next Tuesday..........it's possible we could have kids by the 21st.

Wow

Plus more in a month?

We have 5 PS-MAPP classes left.  We have most of our paper work turned in as well.  I still need to set up a time to have someone come teach us CPR/1st aide.  In two weeks our home inspector will come.  I know we need to get another tot lock and two fire extinguishers.  They aren't coming to white glove test our house but I feel like I have so much I need to do.  I know it's not true but that's how I feel.  I want/need to finish painting the trim in the babies new kids room.  I want to get the office changed over to a play area and paint it.  In a dream world I would have nearly the entire interior of the house painted.  I want to finish putting together my organize board.  Spray paint picture frames for the new room and spray paint some doors.

Today I am stuck in bed.  Every time I get up my whole world spins and I get sick or nearly sick.  Princess has been here to save the day a couple of times.  And as I type the kids are down stairs finishing up the lunches they made for themselves.  I have thought more than once about what I will do if this happens when our new ones get here.  I keep telling myself that I rarely get this sick so it's not something to concern myself with but when I try to get out of bed and have to catch myself on the wall I keep thinking about the possibility of a crack baby and no one here to help.  I guess me and the new kiddos can just cry together.  That's just part of being a mom sometimes.  When your kids get older it's something you don't think about much any more.

It is very possible and most likely that we will have our kids at the end of August.

Well that's wasn't all that bad

We had our interviews with our case worker today.  Since we were having it in our home I made some planned activites for the kids to try and keep them busy.  They did really well.

I had the case worker and another lady shadowing her follow me up to our room to do the interview.  I figured having them up there would keep the kids from answering questions for us again.  I sat on the egde of my bed facing the workers while they sat on our love set, all the while wringing my hands and trying to remind myself not to rub my ear (nervous habit, what can I say, it soothes me).  To sum it up, it wasn't bad at all.  She just asked some question refering to some paper work we filled out.  We finished up in thirty minutes and then on to J's turn.

We found out tonight that our worker A likes us as well.  She told us after she met us the first time she told her boss she just had to have our case.  That just thrills me.  I was just telling J that I wanted to be personable with her.  I figure if she is going to showing up at my home unannounced then we should be more than acquaintances.  I am trying to convince her that our neighborhood really rocks and she and her husband should stop looking and just move near us!

I don't know how much sense any of this made.  I am on a "our home interviews went great and A really likes us" high.

A thousand words

I shouldn't be doing this.  I shouldn't be sitting here looking at this screen.  What I should be doing is compiling finding a picture to submit with our paper work.  Do you know how hard it is to get a picture with every family member in it smiling in addition to getting the dog to look in the right direction?!  Nearly impossible.

I don't want to just settle for a picture.  I have one that I really like, all of the kids are smiling big smiles.  And it's not that J and I look mad there just isn't much of a smile....plus no dog.  So I can't send in one without J and I not smiling because who wants to give people kids if they can't even smile with their own kids and the kids have to be smiling because who wants to give you kids if you don't make your own kids smile

All this being said they are going to get over kill because I know no other way.  I need a smiling pic of me and the husband, one of our house, one of the dog, a smiling picture of my babies and just to appear well rounded maybe a picture of the pet rock.


First thing on the list  for tomorrow: get a pet rock

Because I am a stay at home mom I have the privilege of getting to be a part of field trips and such.  I love kids, am slightly a kid myself, so I think field trips rock!  Little Man's class took a trip to the zoo (not long after we made our decision to become foster parents) and I got to go along.  I had a group of Little Man, another boy and two girls.One of the girls I already knew from previous visits and I had heard about the other girl.  Little Man told me about her first day of school and things he mentioned made me wonder if she was in kinship foster care. 

I was so excited to get her in our group to have a chance to get to know her.  Boy did she talk my ear off.  I didn't have to ask her anything to find out her back story she just shared it all.  I had the hardest time not crying and keeping a straight face as she shared parts of her life.

Although I couldn't fix her life for her I felt blessed to be able to share a day with her, to give her an ear to listen to, a hand to hold and a neck to hug.  Not so excited about my arm being used as sweat rag over and over....

Hoping our paths will cross next school year.

Just another step closer

This was what we did right before we left for vacation.  Every time I complete a set of paper work or finish another task I feel so excited!

On vacation

Every gift shop we go into I feel the need want to buy something for the new kids.  Good thing I'm not doing it or we wouldn't have room in the van to get home.

They're not even here yet

I was sitting on the couch reading the other day.  I stopped to talk to one of the kids and began to count heads. I was missing two....or so I thought.  They aren't even here yet and I am adding them to the count. 

By the way, that wasn't even the first time I have done that.  Can't wait for God to place some kiddos with us.

Getting Ready

 I am making some changes.  Princess is moving to another room which will put the new kids near us.  My current project is this room.   

 The first thing I have to do is remove the border.  Pretty simple.  Even Princess wanted to help.

After we get back from vacation I will paint the base boards white and then paint the walls. 

I get it, really I do

I understand that the state doesn't know us. We could be crazy people for all they know but every time I watch the news and I just feel an urgency.  I want them to hurry up and give us some kids who need us now!  I would still take all of their classes and whatnot but just let us take them now......

I'm Nesting

I'm on a hunt for two things at this present moment.  For our paper work I need everyone's birth certificate and our marriage license.   I don't have the license or my birth certificate.  I have searched all over but in every place I search I feel the need to clean it  out.  I don't want to tackle the hope chest but that's my last possibility.

I remember feeling this way before the kids where born.....this need to throw things out and rearrange.  Right now I have project ADD.  J and I joke that I have cleaners ADD, but I think it has carried over.  I need to complete the rocking chair but the crib is calling to me to be sanded.  When I walk into the house the office that will be turned into a play room is saying, "Fix me!, Change me!".  But before I do that I really need to change Princess to her new room so I can get her (new)  room and the new kiddo room all ready.

Oh wait......what's that?.......it's the rocking chair.....I gotta go......

Meeting at home

The lady from the agency came out to our home. The kids were so very excited.  So excited they were eavesdropping and trying to answer her questions for us.  I really liked her.  She said she works most of our area so there is a good chance she will be our case worker. 

Man, did she bring a lot of paper work for us.  My goal, and I will complete it, is to have it all filled out when we go to our first training class next month.  The paper work.....wow.....they ask all kinds of questions, some that make total sense, some that repeat themselves and some that just seem unnecessary.  Why they need to know my closet grocery store I don't know.  And some how I have to find out the ethnicity and age range of my neighborhood.  Why do they care, who knows.

In the end all the paper work doesn't matter.  They can ask just about anything they want.  Bring on the paper work I say.

Just set up our....I don't know what you call it, anyway someone is coming out from the agency for a meeting.  They are coming to our home in a few days.  So excited and nervous!!!!

two-by-two....or three or four or five or six

The system is in need of people to take sibling groups.  Unfortunately the sibling groups have a tendency to be large.  Sometimes very large.  I thought it over and I can handle two more kids.  What's five, right.  J is still undecided.

I know my childhood wasn't as bad as some kids but I do think if I had had enough sense to talk about what was going on we would have been taken away.  I mean really, who thinks it's a good idea to drink and drive every time you drive, especially when you have kids in the car.  There are other things as well but that's not what this post is about.  I had already felt fine about taking on two kids but when my mind traveled back and I thought about what would that have been like, being taken from my parents, and separated from my brother.  The only thing that could have brought me any peace would have been being able to stay with my Bubba..  I would have felt safe with him.  Those thoughts and feelings make me really want to take two in hopes that we would be able to get siblings.  We couldn't take a whole broad but maybe we could take two out of a sibling set......

Preparing for more

Part of the interesting part of fostering is not knowing what you are going to need.  We know we will be taking in kids from birth to 3 years.  The thing with fostering is sometimes you get a kid in the middle of the night.  So how do you prepare for that.....craigslist.  J and I have been looking at things we will need and yesterday he hit the jackpot.  We got a van full of things from one person.

 Sweet Baby Boy was so excited to go get things for the new kids.  He couldn't wait to help J fill the jogging strollers tires with air as soon as we got home.

 We got a crib, with a mattress, a blanket with matching sheet and crib bumper.  That adorable giraffe mobile and a uhhh I don't know what you call the other thing but it's cute and the baby will like it.

 Since we picked it all up while Princess and Little Man were at school J wanted to leave it all out in the living room for them to see when we got home.

 Sweet Baby Boy was excited that this came in the loot.

 We got two strollers.  One is a jogging stroller and the other is just your regular kind.

 We also got two highchairs.  As you can see we have one of the more traditional kind and also one that attaches to your table.  I am super excited about these guys.

A pack n play that has a diaper changing station attachment.  This will be very handy if we get a newborn since we could just set it up in our room.

Let's see what else was there....a potty training chair, plus another that just sits on top of your potty lid so the kiddo doesn't fall in, a small box with some bibs and clothes, a Halloween outfit, life jacket, a baby bath tub, and a bumbo.  We got all of that for 120 bucks!!  That was a steal.

I have spent time this morning going through a loooong list of agencies to choose from.  J suggested I find out how far each one was from us.  Great idea.  I did that and found that they are pretty much the same distance, give or take a few minutes.  So I started making phone calls to ask each agency question.  I hate doing things like that.  Hate it.  I wish I could just turn my shyness off and get things done. 

I think we have found one we like.  Someone will be calling us back in the next few days and we will go from there.  Can't wait for her to call.

Just a bit about us

We are a family of 5.  Our three kids are 8, 7, and almost 5.  Our oldest is a girl, Princess. The 7 year old is Little Man and our last guy is Special Baby Boy.  All of our kids are just incredibly smart.  In fact Princess will be tested for "gifted" classes next month.  J and I have been married for 11 years.  We met when we were both just 14 at our church.  We worked in our church nursery together.  We both just love children.

Phew

We just got home from orientation.  I am so grateful to have had someone to take care of our kiddo's while J and I got started on our first step.  Orientation was........draining.  Most of what they spoke of tonight were things I had already read on-line.  I was anxious to hear new things.  I was not anxious to hear the statics about these children.  12,000 kids are in the system here.  85% of them have been sexually abused.  I listened tonight as they pleaded for people who already had their minds made up to just adopt to reconsider and think about fostering.  I heard these women speak of individual kids who are needing help right now.  Our state is so overrun with kids and there just aren't enough foster families.  Just last night they had a 6 day old little girl who needed to be placed and they have no where to put her.

So what do they do with kids that don't have family to go to?  They first try foster families, then shelters, and when there is still no where to go.....they sleep in the cps offices.  It's heartbreaking but there is something more devastating than that.  Our state is so overrun that there are kids who need to be taken from their homes but they are being left there because there really is no where else to go.

I can't imagine having  the jobs that these ladies have......knowing the stories of these children and not being able to help them.  They must lay in their beds at night with minds full of horror stories and neglect.  Since we have decided to do this I have thought several times how grateful I am that J talked me out of a dream I once had.  Because of my past I wanted t be a social worker.  I wanted to be the one to go in and save the day.  I was naive.  My mind hadn't thought of the heartbreak over the children I couldn't help or the grief I would witness when the children didn't want to be taken from their abusive families.  But my baby knows me and he knew it was something I couldn't handle.  I spent many moments of the night being so grateful for my husband who would hear a static or story and immediately place his arm around my shoulder and give me the support he knew I needed in those moments.

Now all I want to do is get everything finished immediately so we can be there to love the children God places in our home.  It's gonna be a long 6 months.

Here we go

We are about to start on an incredible journey.  Tonight we will go to our orientation class for becoming foster parents.  We are excited. Speaking for myself, excited and overwhelmed and nervous and happy and anxious and excited and excited some more.  It feels a little like being pregnant.  We know our family is about to change but we don't know exactly how.  I find myself at the store strolling down the baby area or thinking in my head of ways to sooth a distressed toddler who doesn't know us.  I haven't bought anything yet, okay well almost nothing.  I found a crib bumper the other day for 2.99, and I loved it, so how can a person say no to three dollars.  The wanting to buy things reminds me of when J and I were pregnant with Princess and he had her baby swing put together and in our living room just waiting for her arrival.......her arrival that wasn't to happen for another eight months.

Once we settled on a yes about fostering I began looking on line for a blog to read.  Something I could relate too.  Something more personal than the foster agency sites that I couldn't tear myself away for during late hours of the night. 

I couldn't find just what I was looking for. 

What I wanted was a blog that started right at the beginning.  To read about the joys and fears of someone else as they went through the process of being certified.  To hear about their anxiety or feelings of inadequacy at taking on something so huge.  I wanted to see how other peoples kids felt about adding new little ones.  I just wanted to read it all.....

So that's just what this blog will be.   Our journey......